Have you ever dabbled with going vegan, vegetarian, or gluten/dairy free?

I noticed something weird happens when you vow to stop eating something…

Some people just REALLY want you to eat the thing you committed to not eating, no matter how many times you politely decline.

• They always order the mozzarella sticks as an app when you’re lactose intolerant
• Keep telling you to try the pepperoni pizza when you’re off meat
• Buy you a round of shots at a happy hour while you’re on Day 9 of Whole30

It’s like the universe is sending that person to taunt you…waving that forbidden fruit in your face over and over saying, “are you suuuuurreeee you don’t want to cave to peer pressure??” with an eyebrow wiggle. ?

If you’re even a little bit of a people pleaser, this whole experience probably just makes you want to avoid any social interaction unless you’re either A) not surrounded by the temptation or B) around other people who are more similar to you.

But honestly, the easier thing would be if these people started realizing that their thing isn’t necessarily your thing.

It’d make you more comfortable, even if it makes them feel a little uncomfortable.

You can love someone and not love the same things as them.

This is where the marketing lesson is. Because knowing who your message isn’t for is one of the biggest things I see people miss when it comes to their ICA (ideal client avatar).

Lean in here, because I’m about to say something I want you to remember reading…

Who your message is not for is JUST as important as who it is for.

Who your message is not for is JUST as important as who it is for.

Who your message is not for is JUST as important as who it is for.

If you forget this in your content then I hate to break it to you, but…

?YOU are the friend who keeps ordering a pepperoni pizza to split with your g-free/d-free bestie when they’ve had Celiac their entire lives.

?YOU are the co-worker who bought a round of shots for your booze-free colleague.

?YOU are the office manager who keeps repeating that someone needs to finish off the bagels because, after all, they’re free.

You might feel better about yourself for sharing a catch-all, bland-as-white-bread message.

But the only emotion you’re invoking with your audience is probably discomfort. Even more likely – and WORSE – you’re making them feel nothing at all.

Just like you might know your audience is full of women coming off the pill, dads who are trying to sleep better and stop snoring, or corporate execs who are about a hair away from girl bossin’ too close to the sun…

you should also know that your message isn’t for women who don’t feel safe enough to take that leap, dads who will never be willing to give up their nightcap, and SVPs who want you to fix it but refuse to do a lick of self-care.

Listen. Being inclusive is a beautiful, beautiful thing. ♥

But if you’re speaking to people you aren’t best positioned to help or whose expectations will not match your reality…isn’t that doing more harm than good?

If I tried to take on McDonald’s as a client and force the CEO to start writing better newsletters, that strategy would probably fall flat on its face. The CEO gets mad, and I get frustrated. It’s not a fit.

So yes, it might mean some people unfollow or unsubscribe. Yes, it might mean they find someone else to work with.

But for every no, space opens for a more aligned yes.

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Here’s my “Who I’m Not (For) List”:

I’m not a business coach. 

If you’ve called me that before, it’s no big deal. But I’m not really coaching you to do things or working on your mindset. I’m either doing marketing stuff with you/your team or doing it for you. Most of my clients have/had both – me and a coach.

→  I’m not for people who are looking for a coach.

I’m not a rich quick scheme.

I believe amazing things can happen incredibly quickly, so I’m not ruling anything out. But what I prepare for is slow, sustainable (and epic) change.

→ I’m not for people who don’t believe in building a community of brand evangelists, don’t care about client satisfaction, or don’t want to take the time to do things the right way.

I’m not a corporate marketer. 

I’m a human marketer, and I’m best when I get to help you magnetize more people into your brand through storytelling and highlighting your secret sauce (which, btw, is you).

→  I’m not for the person who wants to hide behind their business and is afraid to show off a little personality. If someone doesn’t want to share on social or put some energy behind cultivating unique points of view, we’re not a match.

I’m not here to help you figure out what you want to be.

As a friend? I’ll brainstorm with you all day. As a fractional marketer? I want to take what you already have going and magnify it, reach more people, and make even more of a difference.

→ I’m not for the people who haven’t committed to an idea yet.